As I sit here and ponder on this last day of the year I can't help but look over the last 6 years of my life and everything that has happened.
Because 6 years ago today my life took a drastic turn and was changed forever based on a single tragic event that I had no control over. I will forever remember the details of that day as I have played them over and over in my head over the last 6 years.
I won't go over those details now as they are my personal memories and entail much pain and anguish on my part.
I do however want to remember, so today on the 6th Anniversary of the tragic accident that took half of my immediate family I REMEMBER....
My dad...
My dad. I don't even have the words to say all that I would like to say about my dad and I fear if I spend too much time on this post I might be an emotional wreck by the end.
I have never met another man like my dad. He was truly the most loving, God fearing, devoted father, husband and pastor.
I miss him in so many ways, he was the one I went to whenever I needed wisdom or spiritual advice, he was so grounded in his faith and I knew I would get words of wisdom whenever speaking to him.
Even though he was a pastor who gained much respect from all those around him, he was also the goofiest guy you could meet, he loved having fun and joking around.
Below is the last picture taken of me and my dad, just a mere week before the accident that would take him away from me forever in this lifetime here on earth.
Today I also remember...
My brother Matt...
Again I don't have the time or the emotional capacity to say all that I would like to say about Matt.
Matt was the best brother. We were friends and enemies as kids, I would drive him crazy with my bossiness and stealing his gum and candy.
But from the age of about 10 or 11 on, (him being 13 or 14) we were best friends. We no longer fought and he was my protector and would stand up for me whenever needed.
Not to say that we didn't tease each other but it was all in love and sibling fun!
I was so blessed to be able to deepen my relationship with Matt the last few years he had on this earth. After he graduated from college he moved back home and because I had just also moved out on my own we decided to be room mates.
These were some of the best times I ever had with Matt. We were both adults now and developed a relationship that surpassed just being brother and sister. I so treasure the time we lived together just him and I.
It was also through Matt that I met my husband Nate (as they were best friends) and I am so glad that he was able to "bless" our relationship before he died!
I also remember today...
My younger brother James...
The above picture was taken on his last birthday just a few months before the accident.
Because James was quite a bit younger than me, we hadn't developed a friendship like Matt and I had. But James was growing up and growing in to a handsome young man.
It was sad to see his life end when he was just coming in to his own and becoming a man. I wonder sometimes what he would be like now and what he would be doing had he not died so young.
The above picture was also from James's last birthday party and is probably one of the last pictures of all my "guys" together.
The one consolation I have of losing three of my family members all at one time is that I know each of them are in heaven right now with my Lord and God and that I WILL see them again when my time on this earth is done or when Jesus comes back for me.
God has blessed me so much these last 6 years and even though I miss my Dad, Matt and James SO much, I know that HE is in control of everything in my life and he loves me and wants what is best for me. Even if I don't understand all His mysterious ways.
I will always remember you guys.
Always in my heart.
